i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
