so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
