Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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