Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
