I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
be right there i have to get my cape
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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