I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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