You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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