dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
