Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
