he puts the penis in happiness.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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