So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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