My room smells like vodka and shame
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
