That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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