I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I love having hate sex.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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