he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
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