well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
