No stitches, just platelets and will power
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
