dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
