NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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