He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
