The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Houston, we have a blender
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
