Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
