You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
