Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize