My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
