I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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