Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
