my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Panties = found
Randomize
