He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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