i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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