just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
