hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
