this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
