I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
