so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
