Having a random hookup so left but love u
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
