i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
