you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
