brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Soap is not a condiment
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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