we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
