Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
