I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
