nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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