Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
