jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
