Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
