He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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