once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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