maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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