Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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