I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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