Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize