i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Princesses don't give blow jobs
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
