how can u be prego again
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
