I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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