just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
