good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
