the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
