I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
