I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
